Auto accidents and insurance statements

The following quotes are actual statements which were written on insurance forms when car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in as few words as possible.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't have.

The other collided with mine without even giving warning of its intentions A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road.  I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed for the embankment.

As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no sign had ever appeared.  I was unable to stop in time to avoid an accident.

To avoid hitting the car in front of me, I struck the pedestrian.

In my attempt to hit a fly. I drove into a telephone pole.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found I had a fractured skull.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle, and vanished. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel. I saw a sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road.  I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching and I was attempting to swerve out of the way when it struck my front end.

I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble, when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.